“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Eph.4:31-32, esv)

Scars (part 1)

He was hot and tired. The round of golf had not gone as well as he had

hoped. Resting on the open hatchback of his car, he began to take off his

golf shoes and socks and put on his sneakers for the drive home. Crossing

his right foot over his left knee and removing his sock, he noticed it again. Just as he had noticed thousands of times over the past 67 years.

A scar. On the instep of his right foot. A scar about an inch and a half long in a

crescent shape. The scar seemed smaller on this day than it had 67years earlier.

He recalled the day. He was six years old. It was a Sunday afternoon in the

summer, around 4 o’clock. He’d been so anxious to ride his new bicycle, a bicyclethat his dad had bought for him with money saved in an amber colored, glass piggy bank. He smiled as he recalled watching his dad break open the piggy bank with a small hammer. There was enough. Enough money to buy a new bike from the local Sears and Roebuck store. The only problem

was that the seat on the bike needed adjusting. It was too high for the little

boy. He should have waited for his dad to adjust the seat. But how can a

little boy wait when it comes to riding a brand new bike?

In a somewhat creative move, the little boy maneuvered the bike up to the

front porch steps. Standing on the first step of the porch, he could tilt the

bike, swing his right leg over the seat, and reach the pedals. Although a bit wobbly,he then pushed away from the steps with his left foot. Regaining his

balance, off he went, riding through the neighborhood.

Returning home about an hour later, he tried to dismount in the only way he

could think of. As the bike slowed, the little boy stood up, both feet on the pedals. Trusting the strength of his straightened left leg, he

hoisted his right leg over the seat, gliding the bike as it began to slow. The

plan was to jump, pushing off the left pedal, allowing the bike to tip over

and land safely on the ground.

The problem arose when, just before jumping, he accidentally placed his right foot into the spokes of the back wheel while the bike was still moving. The result? A nasty gash that would require 8 stitches to close.

The scar would be there for life. Always a reminder of the events of that day. He’d made a mistake in even trying to ride the bike with the seat too high. He knew better than to do that. But little boys with shiny new bikes can be impatient. He had the scar to remind him. The cut had healed physically within several weeks. But the scar would last a lifetime. Always a reminder.

That’s the thing about scars. They leave a mark, a

reminder. With far more modern medical techniques when using sutures to

close open wounds than in 1958, and with plastic surgeries and cosmetic

treatments, physical scars are far less visible today. They are easier to

hide. We know they are still there. Always a reminder.

But what about emotional wounds? Hearts do get hurt, often quite

easily—whether intentional or not. Words are said or left unsaid. Actions

can be unkind, leaving wounds open inside the heart. We’ve all

experienced these wounds, haven’t we?

Wounds to the heart are the worst kind of wounds. All too often, they remain open, sometimes for years. An offender has not stepped forward. No recognition. No apology. Perhaps they are unaware of the damage they caused. But perhaps they are aware. Resentment, anger, bitterness. Those feelings keep the wounds open. How do we close them? The bleeding hasn’t stopped. It may have slowed over time, but it somehow maintains a freshness.

The open wound I experienced as a boy who cut his foot while dismounting

from a moving bicycle required an action step. A quick trip to the hospital

and stitches. The open wounds to my heart require a different action step. A more difficult one. The Apostle Paul lets us in on what that action is. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Eph.4:31-32, esv)

Open wounds to the heart are a breeding ground for anger, resentment, bitterness, and often a wish for retaliation or malicious thoughts. We long for an apology oracknowledgment that we have been harmed. But what if that never comes? The offender may be unaware or believe no harm has been done. What if the offender is no longer with us? Distance or their death has separated us from them.

The Apostle Paul offers the answer: forgiveness can close the open wounds

of the heart. Healing can begin. Scars that close the gap can begin to form. But holding on to anger, resentment, and bitterness are the wardens that keep us in solitary confinement. These are the poisons we ingest, believing they harm the offender. Can we truly walk forward in freedom and fulfillment while withholding forgiveness? Even if we try to bury the hurt or force ourselves to move on, the hurt, the anger, the bitterness are still there, holding us back from living fully.

Forgiveness frees. It frees me. It frees you. The offender may never know of

our release. And that is okay. The act of forgiving is for our healing. It

doesn’t require that we forget the pain or what caused it, or that it prevents us

from taking precautions or setting boundaries as we move forward. Scars

remain. Forgiveness is not about condoning what happened. It doesn’t say

that what happened was acceptable. But forgiveness is mercy and grace. It is something that we can give that the offender may not deserve.

I hesitate to even imagine the number of open wounds to God’s heart that I

have left through my sinfulness. But I do know this. While I deserve God’s

wrath, resentment, bitterness, and abandonment, that is not what He has

granted me. In Christ, He has granted me forgiveness. Undeserved

forgiveness, mercy, and grace. In receiving that, should I not do all that I

can to extend that same forgiveness to others? To myself? That, my friends, would be Kingdom of Heaven living. Should I not do all I can to “go and do likewise”?